workshopping a YA novel where the government divides everyone into social classes based on whether they like cilantro or think it tastes like soap
on their 12th birthday everyone has to try cilantro for the first time in front of the whole community and report back on their opinion so they can be properly categorized and she says “it’s okay i guess” and she gets dragged offstage by the pro-cilantro government militia
groundbreaking concept! how do we shoehorn it into a love triangle
guy from an island where they’ve never heard of cilantro
it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”
i taught my boss the meaning and usage of “yeet” after i accidentally let it slip in the office and a day later he walks up to my desk and says “i just yeeted you an email” with a completely straight face and i nearly bowled over
i learned that the world record for the loudest thing ever shouted belongs to an Irish female teacher who shouted the word “quiet” at 121 decibels, the equivalent of a jet engine (x)
DISGUSTANG
oh my god?
Okay please read this whole article because there is important information in ther, including;
1. She never yells at her students- her record breaking 121 decibel shout happened during an event she’d been invited to. She was defending her title after setting the previous shouting record during a competition at a church camp, where she got to 119.4 decibels
2. The only reason she entered the first competition was because her twin sister had entered and was about to win with a shout of 119.1 decibels.
3. They took her to an expert to try to understand how she shouted so very loud and his conclusion was that her supernatural volume was fueled entirely by her need to beat her sister.
Dad kept hiding pine nuts in the pages of this magazine and letting Edgar root around for them.
(Edgar cannot be released to the wild due to an injury. He now works as an ambassador bird and general household nuisance.)
Edgar has added to his vocalizations since I last saw him! He used to only say “oh wow” in a really sarcastic voice and to mimic the trill of a screech owl. Now he also screams “WHAT?!” and mumbles “what a WHOPPER!”
It was hysterically funny discussing politics with him in the room. We’d mention some new scandal and he’d randomly interject with cries of astonishment.
